Once upon a time 10 or maybe more years ago someone said to me- “Lori you like everything tied in a bow, wrapped, leaving nothing messy.”     In many ways they were right-  as I try to understand everything from varying perspectives  – not simply my own-  There is so much more than my own life experience- after all I’m one person and we ALL have our own experiences which contribute to who we are as human beings.

From the time I was a young girl and learned to talk-  curiosity and wanting to understand was at the core of who I am-    It still is-   *much to the frustration of some*

For many years (long ago) I would come up with my own version of things- again- mostly because it was easier.   A way to create the ending I felt comfortable with, but it also wasn’t realistic, because the stories we tell ourselves are often not remotely what is actually happening- especially in relation to someone else.  It also is not  true to who I am as a human being- someone who wants to understand, even when it sometimes means I simply don’t or it’s painful to comprehend.

I have thought for weeks about what is the most important ‘thing’ I’ve learned this year and I simply couldn’t put it to even one big thing as there are many- 

What I do know for sure- as I sit here typing- my black eyed peas bubbling on the stove *making ahead of time so they will be the most flavorful* – Jackson sitting beside me and the sound of fireworks going off in the distance as the daylight begins to fade into the last evening of the year-  is that most situations aren’t wrapped neatly in a closure bow- often they are messy, fraying on all sides, filled with unanswered questions, simply because the human experience varies and is  complicated. 

Does it stop me from being curious and my desire to learn not only about myself but also others?  Absolutely not-   What I have learned is that ‘for me’ living in what I call the rainbow – the space I call between black & white-   It’s where LOVE is- where  growth is-   It’s where the color is-   It’s where the pain can also be.   It’s where there are no absolutes & always room for more- There is noise and solitude- there is pain and joy-  life and death- there is the paradox of the human experience.    Something we ALL share  & yet we tend to complicate it because of projecting our own ideas of how someone should be, rather than getting granular and actually wanting to hear their perspective and learning- – Whether we realize it or not- we are ALL teachers & what comes in- influences us.     SO many people believe this isn’t true-  yet if we pause and look at our own lives- and what we consume-  believe- think-

 How much is because of something else we heard and not because we paused to consider options?   

The noise is real-   The ‘othering’ of people is real-   I see it daily and at least once a day It breaks my heart BUT-  despite what the loudest voices from the collective illusion would have us all believe- there is MORE kindness, beauty and goodness than not.  Loving and showing up for  others the way Jesus would- for all, not only some.

So what have I learned?   It has been an extremely difficult year for most of us- and continues to be for some, myself included.     Despite the difficulties- there have been many moments I celebrate and those are what I want to carry into the new year-  

I’ve chosen to let go of some things, including some people- because of nothing more than it was time-   That happens & because of the aforementioned neat and tidy package analogy- I tend to hold on longer than I should because I believe in the power of forgiveness and also change-   But sometimes, maybe more than I realize- it also holds a space that is meant for something else-   And it stunts growth-   So I’ve been working on letting go of some things- and some people-  to leave space for more of what I would like in the coming year(s).  

I stopped making resolutions years ago, but rather choose to think about what I would like more of in the new year-   I’ll share those at a later date.

One thing I’ve been thinking about for months is wanting to start to write more hand written letters in the new year-   I’ve gotten away from it because everything seems to be a text away- but I want to write more letters-   Yesterday I saw Southern Living Mag said it’s going to be ‘the thing’ in 2026- so there you have it-   So if you would like to receive a letter- drop me a note with your address- assuming I don’t already have it.

Be kind to yourself & others in the New Year and beyond-   Everyone has a struggle of some sort- but you may not have access to that information.   Try to assume the best of people & be kind-  You may be the only kindness they experience that day- or maybe even that week. 

Don’t feel you have to say yes when you know, for yourself you need or want to say no-     Not only does it send the wrong message to the other person, it also keeps you from staying true to your own well being.       If it costs you your peace-  it isn’t worth it, no matter how attractive it may come packaged.

Be kind and love yourself-  in whatever way that looks like to you.